W e l c o m e

9.21.2021 - Heard my first Christmas song on the radio today. Yep, that's right - it's September and I heard my first holiday song of the season. Funny enough, I kept it on as the song was, "I want an alien, for Christmas, this year." And who doesn't love aliens? ;)

6.27.2021 - Happy Birthday to me. Another year, another wrinkle? Not! LOL... the people in my life continue to call me a vampire as I do not look my age (thankfully!). It was a very quiet day despite the weather scares this week - including the tornado that tore through a neighborhood six days ago, less than two miles away. Scary night.

I'm making a commitment to do better on my sites during the next year - and post more. Then I'll evaluate the feedback to the topics I've discussed and will see what will stick around. Yes, that means there are blogs I've worked on and never posted. Time to change that.

Well... time to write ;)

4.9.2021 - 3 hours of sleep was enough. Time to write. 

 Jan.2021 - I thought that 2019 came with deep challenges but 2020 blew that struggle out of the water. Lockdowns, businesses closing, protests, and an election that was one for the history books made 2020 the year that everyone was ready to say good-bye to. I want to take a moment to pay apologies for my initial outlook on Covid last March-April as I did not think it would take hold of the world as it did - but then the numbers exploded. I was afraid to make further comments on it and took a seat at the spectators booth as the havoc raged on.

I want to say a huge "Thank You" to all the healthcare workers of the world that sacrificed their time and personal health to help us survive this pandemic. There were unfathomable losses and mental breaks, as well as families that found the positive in the situation and used the extra time to grow closer. Although I continually use the phrase, "I can't wait for the world to go back to normal," I'm not sure if "normal" will ever be the same.

4.23.2020 - Trying to write today but my brain keeps bopping around project to project. We are still enduring the lock-down, waiting to hear if it will be extended again at the end of the month. I put some thoughts into a poem... it's currently untitled:

4.20.2020 - Having so many weeks off due to the lock-down has allowed me to ruminate through old boxes of memories. Some have been fun to reminisce about ~ while others, well, have left me with chills of how far I've come. 

One of the issues I have with social media platforms is how they go through your complete history even when you click "Don't allow" when they ask for access to your contact list. Although my classmates talked me into opening a FaceBook account while attending Aesthetics school, I do not use it. Haven't logged in for years. I was creeped out by the site's suggestions of people for me to follow. When I complained to friends about the format, they replied simply, "Just block them." They didn't understand that I did not want to see the names or faces to begin with. How do these apps find so many people I haven't spoken to in years and didn't want to? How are they allowed to do that? How did they find job contacts that I may have emailed only once? How did they find ex-boyfriends and their family members from twenty years ago - and then beam their photos in my face with, "Do you know...? Suggested people to follow..." (Ugh, and Eww. Shiver and *hit escape*. Shake off the cold chills of PTSD.) I do not enjoy my privacy being invaded that deeply.

I am venting about the easy access of people through apps like FB because during my purge of paperwork, I came across the stalking report I had to file against an ex-boyfriend back in the 90s. I was hit with a flood of recollection of my life at that time and so glad that I no longer lived in Michigan. The situation happened before cell phones and internet in every home. A time when it was easier to administer manipulation without the accountability of live video feeds.

I was too young to have been in a relationship with a man like that. I wasted three years thinking I was in love with him. Between the arguments, lies and emotional abuse, it was three years too long. One of his favorite methods of trying to get me to obey him was to change the locks on the doors. Yes, he would actually install different door handles and locks, making me wonder how many different sets he kept on-hand as I never found his stash. If I went out grocery shopping or even to work, and he paged me (yes, it was the 90s and I had a pager), I had five minutes to locate a payphone and call him back or he would change the locks on the door. I remember going with two of my girlfriends to the film premiere of The Crow - which in anticipation, we had our outfits planned out a month in advance. We even invited my boyfriend to come along with us to the event but he refused. Instead, he entertained himself with paging me multiple times during the movie so I would have to go to the lobby to call him, missing scenes from the film. Needless to say, he was still disappointed with me as he changed the door locks yet again.

So when I finally left him, it was ironic that he spent the next several months stalking me. I had moved away from the area in hopes of establishing new roots. But when I visited friends near my old neighborhood, he was there, sitting in his parked car and watching. I had no idea how he knew where I'd be as these were the days before GPS. And I had a new phone number - which I never gave him, but he left many threatening messages on my answering machine (yes, I had an actual answering machine), saying how he would get me if it was that last thing he ever did.

Funny, isn't it? After the countless times he had locked me out of the little house we rented, I thought he would be glad to be rid of me. But my leaving had meant I severed the control he had over me. And after a two hour car chase in the wee hours of the morning after leaving a friend's birthday celebration, I decided it was time to involve the police.

Two officers came to my apartment later that day to take my statement. I recounted dates and times for them, and even gave them a cassette tape of his threatening machine messages. I told them details of the day he broke into my car to steal everything out of it. I had confronted him when I realized my things were gone. At first he denied it - denied taking my leather jacket, a blanket my grandmother had given me, supplies for my job as well as my day planner (remember, these were the days before smartphones), that held my work schedule and all of my contacts. At the end of the argument, he finally handed back my planner, but that was it. I explained to the officers that in spite of all he had done, what scared me the most was the chase that morning. I was genuinely afraid for my life. I told them of the look of determination in his eyes when he was parallel to me in the other lane. Of how he would swerve into my lane or hop in front of me, trying to get me to run me off the road. Two hours of looping through multiple cites on I-94 had pushed me past my level of tolerance. I worried what he would do if he got his hands on me if crashing my car didn't kill me first. They assured me they would pay him a visit and instruct him to stay away from me.

I can't remember if it was the same day or the next, but my answering machine received a very loud and unhappy message, with many "How dare you's!" from my ex. But the stalking stopped.

That was more than twenty years ago and thankfully neither he nor his family have popped up as suggestions on my apps. But in the same respect, many unwanted suggestions have. I do not like it when apps dig too deep. I would not mind suggestions of strangers that shared similar interests or posts but leave my privacy alone. I want them to stay out of my contact list when I click "Don't allow."

4.1.2020 - Happy April Fool's Day! It is also my sister's birthday - which I feel bad that she can't celebrate properly this year with the pandemic going on. The older we get, the more our features look alike, though she does not share my silly sense of humor. She is much more serious than I am. So when I grabbed for a spoon tonight to pull a spoonful of peanut butter from the jar, I giggled at the one in my hand. It was a spoon that my sister had stolen years ago from a wedding shower we attended. The gesture was so out of character for her but provided some needed comic relief. The two of us were seated next to each other at a very nice venue but conversation with the guests was a struggle. As a relative stopped by to chat with me, I spied my sister covertly slide my unused spoon into my clutch purse and then return to her stoic posture. I swallowed my shock as my relative continued to chat but as soon as she walked away, I asked my sis what the heck she did that for? Again, it was out of character and completely unexpected. I glanced around, searching the walls for cameras. She smiled and shrugged, stating something to the effect that she needed a laugh. The challenge was sitting in front of me, did I pull it back out and risk getting caught that the spoon was in my purse? Or did I leave it alone and pretend it never happened? Yep, I brought it home with me. Still makes me laugh. And even though I could not celebrate with my sis, the spoon triggered the funny memory as I ate my peanut butter. I hope that she had a good laugh today as well.

The above story could be true... or an April Fool's joke ;)

3.24.2020 - As of Friday, the gov of IL issued a "stay at home" order March 21 through April 7th. Again, I never thought I would live in a time where I would see that happen. The streets are desolate from vehicles, but many people are out jogging, biking, walking their dogs and visiting parks. So there is a slight sense of normalcy. A week ago, there were only a handful of states sharing various lock-downs. As of today, that list has grown (at least doubled) and I would not be surprised if the rest of the states follow in some sort of location-wide restrictions soon.

I have stayed away from my several social media accounts as I did not want to compile my anxiety there. I am still in the first couple stages of grief ~ denial and anger, and do not want to trigger fellow online friends with my complaints. I do not have children, pets, or a partner to worry about, but I am grieving our economy and way of life. I worry about businesses being able to recover from all the shut-downs, and all of my friends that may lose jobs because of it. I worry that the fear of getting closer than six feet to people will stick around and people will have even more social anxiety because of this experience. I wonder and worry about how worse off the world is going to be in another month from now. 

3.19.2020 - What a crazy time to be living with the panic of the COVID-19 virus. And I would have to look up the stats, but wasn't H1N1 (Swine Flu) more deadly? But here we are, hoarding groceries at the stores and planning for quarantine. And I know that people have died from it already, which is truly unfortunate. I just never thought I'd see the world shut down as it is doing. I've always thought of it as a machine that never took a break. It is eerie to see how many places have closed their doors for a couple weeks, and all of the schools that are now holding online *only* classes. My heart goes out to everyone - yes, even the food hoarders - that we all check on each other and our loved ones at this time.

Note: via Wikipedia - Smallpox took up to 300 million people worldwide in the 20th century ~ via CDC - H1N1 of 2009 took up to 575,400 people worldwide

2.23.2020 - Okay folks, I feel the need to rant about the health of this country - specifically, how overweight so many of us are. Our health is in crisis. And the more that I watch documentaries on food, farming and weight loss, the more that I see the marketing of food and reality shows self-sabotaging us. When will it end? When will we choose to heal ourselves as well as how we have genetically destroyed our food supply? I've heard reports over the past ten years of how this is the first time in history where younger generations may have a shorter life expectancy than previous generations.

The thought that Millenials and the generation after them are maturing with social media and television as their main sources of news and information, is why they should be utilized in the best possible way. Media has the power to educate. It could step up to support and change the unhealthy habits that so many of us have slid into. For example: Dairy Queen is currently running a special on a chicken strip basket that includes breaded fried chicken, fries, and a couple slices of toast. There is nothing red or green included (tomatoes & lettuce), or even a side of coleslaw as a veggie. The whole basket shares the same color palette. Makes me cringe. And have you noticed how much of food marketing uses the colors red and yellow in their signage? Like the colors of a ketchup and mustard bottle - to trigger your hunger. Think about all of the fast-food, cracker and cookie companies that use red and yellow for their logos.

And when I heard that "The Biggest Loser" was making a comeback this year on the USA channel, I was excited. I saw the trailer and read articles about the upcoming changes that would take place this time around. A couple articles stated there would be more counseling and focus on nutrition and meal prep. This is because of the history of the show - how most of the previous contestants have gained back what they lost and now have more issues with their metabolism due to how fast they had dropped the weight. It was thought that the new version would lose viewers due to their effort at being more health conscious than previously.

But as I've watched the past several weeks, I see little difference. It is still a high pressure, competitive game show. With trainers that push their teams with firm vocabulary and little sympathy when they vomit. Trainers that enunciate the impact of guilt they feel when a member of their team loses and has to go home, feeling they did not push that contestant far enough. The need for the competition is still the driving objective instead of pushing people realistically, and truly teaching them how to live healthier lives. Because in reality, once the contestants return to their daily lives, their day-to-day jobs, their families and all of their responsibilities - they are not going to have *the game* of working out eight hours a day.

I was hoping they would show scenes of meal prep with a nutritionist, helping contestants to design potential menus for a healthier lifestyle. But I have not seen any yet. It is my opinion that the show is missing out on being an example to the country on how to live better. Because people are busy - gone are the days when one parent of a working-class family went to work while the other parent prepared a healthy dinner for their return. I feel that nutrition should be equally highlighted as the partner to working out until you puke.

I do appreciate the newer food companies, like Blue Apron, Hello Fresh, Home Chef, etc... that take away the time needed for shopping and putting recipes together. It is a great concept that everything is portioned and delivered right to your door. But not everyone can afford a service like that. So, it is progress, but not progress for everyone.

And I'm not saying that I'm going to give up watching The Biggest Loser. I only wanted to voice my hope that it will choose to improve what they emphasize as important. Because what happens when the contestants go home, and their one-year gym membership and access to a nutritionist that the show gives expire? Will they have learned enough to truly change? Or will it feel like *the game* is finally over and they no longer have to be held accountable?

2.3.2020 - Busy building my empire

1.1.2020 - Happy New Year!!!

This is the year I want to stop apologizing.

Farewell to 2019 - When I look back at 2019, I view it as a cornucopia of memories with many different flavors.  I traveled to a white sand beach I had never been to before.  There were compliments of my cooking that flattered me.  There were genuine conversations about important people in my life and the friendships that I trusted.  But 2019 had its downfalls.

The first half of the year was dedicated to long hours of responsibility and time well spent with my favorite client.  The months flew by... and before I knew it summer had arrived.  During the last week of July, I heard from a photographer pal of mine that our friend Tran had passed away some months before.  Hearing of his loss cracked my heart.  I was afraid that something was wrong as I had made many attempts to reach out and contact Tran without answer.  And even though it was a while since his passing, news of his death was new to me and so was the pain of the grief.  He had been a best friend to me for twelve of the years I lived in MI.  I learned about good wine and good food because of him.  We were movie geeks and would discuss films at length as I chauffeured him around town and to art museums.  There were trips to Europe and stories of adventures in his younger years with many, many laughs.  I had not actually seen him since moving to IL in 2009 but we continued with phone conversations.  It was our last few conversations that left me worried.  They always seemed to circle back to his depression and to the mention of chef Anthony Bourdain's passing.  He would tell me that maybe he "should be like Anthony Bourdain and call it quits."  I hated that I could not comfort him and feared he would take his life.  In the end, it was his health that took him from this world.

August arrived, and a few days after learning of Tran's passing, I lost my favorite client, Chris.  The crack in my heart split deeper.  Though I only knew him for a year & a half we had developed a friendship that will stay with me forever.  He was a true go-getter and achieved so much in his life.  I admired and respected the strong business and family man that he was, while reveling in the moments of his cheeky sense of humor.  Sometimes it resonated through his story telling and other times it was in his one-liner comebacks and spontaneous pranks he pulled on people (mostly his chiropractor).  He was a great man to look up to.

Because of my grieving I went a couple of weeks without touching base with another dear friend of mine, Sherri.  We met in 2015 at Aesthetics school and became the closest of friends, texting and calling multiple times a week.  But she was already draped in a heavy blanket of drama in her own life.  I did not want to burden her with my waterworks to make her feel worse.  But then... on August 23rd, her sister called to give me the devastating news that we had lost Sherri.  I was at brunch with a couple friends in from MI and could not hold back the tears.  They were quiet tears (for the most part) as I was in a public cafe, but a necessary, uncontrollable shedding.

My heart was full-on broken at this point.  To lose three people - within weeks of each other - who were prominent friends in my life hurt more than any words could describe.  I was moosh.  I was broken.  I was a mooshy puddle of broken bits on the floor pleading for someone to sweep me up in a dustpan and put me out in next Tuesday's trash.

It was inconceivable that I would never again pick up the phone to hear Sherri's voice or to see a text from her with the grammatical error of "alot."  I honestly thought we would grow old together after our future husbands had passed away.  I foresaw us cooking meals together and discussing nutrition in our big, cheffie kitchen.  Neither of us had children but both loved dogs so there would be many fur babies.  And we were both insomniacs - so I imagined us staying up late and drinking tea in our comfy chairs into the wee hours while the dogs slept peacefully in front of a cozy stone fireplace.  Now I can only hope that she is at peace, no longer having to deal with stress, anxiety, a difficult divorce and sleepless nights.

After a summer of such loss, I needed a break.  I needed time to grieve and time to heal.  Three people I cherished were gone and I felt the hollow within myself that they used to fill.  I will treasure their memory, their joy, their humor, their strength and their mentorship.  I am a better person for knowing them and they will always have a place in my heart - broken but mending.

So to 2019, I am glad to bid you farewell as you blessed me with a few good memories but took more from me than you gave.  I raise a glass - half-filled, to my friends that I lost and hope that wherever they are they are out of pain and enjoying the complete angelic experience... cheers to you my friends Xx!!

10.21.2019 - Where the heck has the time gone?? I mean - seriously!? I blinked and 2019 is almost over (thank goodness though). It really was a bugger of a year. And I feel the stir of changes coming... as I went through a lot of growth spurts this year. It's true, I still have many insecurities and wear my heart on my sleeve but I foresee my confidence growing. And I deserve that confidence as living on the back burner has never yielded reward. So... I am going to do my best to get back to social media - as I like for people to know that I am accessible. And you will probably see my natural humor seep into my posts and ramblings... as I get tired of being so proper ;)

3.20.2018 - My *Question of the Day* is that I would like to know whatever happened to Generations X and Y? With the time frame I was born in and graduated from high school, I was categorized as Generation X, and the children that followed Gen X was Gen Y. So whatever happened to those references? I ask this because when I watch the news now, the new "Millenial" category seems to group everyone under the age of 45. When did the three generations morph together? I was born in the 70s - we still watched black and white TV for gosh sakes! I was just curious when the takeover happened as I do not feel like a techie "Millenial."

3.10.2018 - Respectfully trying to pull my mood from the heaviness of the week. I just need a laugh. Decided to flip on a Pete Holmes stand-up routine from 2016. I like his HBO show "Crashing." And his geeky kind of comedy is relatable to me - as I usually feel like the awkward character in the room when out with friends. But one thing I have to ask, is it just me, or does he look like the lovechild of John Ritter and Val Kilmer? I think he does. 

3.1.2018 - Received the news that my grandmother has passed. My heart lurched in my chest with emotion as I am not ready yet to process this news. Everyone that I tell I'm going home for her wake gives me their condolences and says, "I know how much she meant to you."  And even though I had not seen my grandmother much over the past few years, the memories of my weekly visits with her when I still lived in Michigan hold prominently in my brain. I shall miss listening to her stories. I shall miss cooking dinner with her. I shall miss her green thumb and how talented she was at gardening. And I shall miss her smile and how it lit up her whole face. 1923-2018

1.1.2018 - HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

10.31.2017 - Hard to believe another Halloween has arrived... where did 2017 go?  And what are my plans for the New Year?  First things first, I'd like to thank my friends (old and new) as well as the challenges of the year for their comfort and teachings.  It is always good to learn new things - whether they are enjoyable or not ;)  And many thanks to my friend Erica for throwing a most enjoyable pumpkin carving party.  One of the guests was kind enough to share a photo of the evenings work:

09.21.2014 - It's been a cozy, quiet work day.  I've sat at my desk, watching squirrels run amuck across the patio, digging in my potted plants.  The leaves are beginning to turn and the wind is beginning to blow.  Feels like Autumn has already arrived.

03.22.2014 - Busy working on my review of the Superior Donuts production...

  03.22.2014

    Playwright Tracy Letts created a neighborly, comedic-drama with his script, Superior Donuts.  It debuted at Chicago's Steppenwolf Theater before hitting Broadway in 2009, and is currently running at The Village Theater Guild in Glen Ellyn, directed by Judy DiVita, March 21 - April 13.

    The first scene opens in a vandalized, outdated and aging, Chicago donut shop with two police officers interviewing Max Tarasov, a Russian immigrant (played by Rob Reinalda) who called them to the scene.  Max owns a DVD store a couple doors down and noticed the shop break-in.  He quickly jumps to conclusions as to who the culprit is, spouting racial speculations.  Officer James Bailey, (played by Cornelius Henderson) who happens to be Afro American, begins to tire of Max's statement.  Arthur Przybyszewski, (played by Peter Simon) the donut shop owner and Northside Chicago Pole enters and passively assesses the damage.  Instead of getting angry, he asks if he can get his guests some coffee.

    The beginning scene sets the tone for Arthur's hippie personality and how laid back he has settled into his lifestyle.  He has many regular customers, such as local wino, Lady Boyle (played by Lynn Walsh) that he is more concerned with their well-being instead of charging them a fee. 

    When 21-year old Franco Wicks (played by Cameron Moseberry) comes to inquire about a job, it motivates Arthur to take a better look at his life and his routine - said best in his spotlighted monologues.  Franco's energetic extrovertedness brings forth the possibility of changes in the shop, as well as exposing the romantic interest officer Randy Osteen (played by Debbie Roberts) has in Arthur.

    But Franco has his own secret - a monetary debt that local Irish thugs, Luther Flynn (played by Bill Hyland) and Kevin Magee (played by Charley Kennett) come to collect.  Franco attempts to reason with them - which eventually leads to a well choreographed fight scene later in the second act.  A call is even made to Max's nephew, Kiril Ivakin (played by Serghei Gobjila) to aid in the situation.

    The script offers a look at diversity in our fellow neighbors - and a compassionate closing scene sums up the strides the characters made.  The players at The Village Theater Guild act as if they've been performing it for years.  There is an easy flow of camaraderie between Arthur and Franco, as well as believable pain and anger in Luther.

    The set is very detail-oriented, down to the weathered track marks on the shop floor and the painted street scene that can be glimpsed through the glass door.

    I found the production to be a positive lesson in breaking down how we view support systems in our lives.

Photos and review by Lisa Beth

 02.28.2014 - What a year so far.  My apologies to those of you who have expected a regular update - yes, I know I've been slacking.  But in truth, I am constantly working.  I have a day job as well as all of the other side projects I have my feet in.  I have been writing, printing cards, and editing photo shoots.

And lately, I have been focusing on "branding".  The thing is, I've had a difficult time defining my brand - as I am a photographer, a writer, a designer, and a dreamer.

WRITER:  I write material that is directed toward children as well as material that deals with mature situations and being human.

PHOTOGRAPHER:  I photograph environments as well as the many beauties of people.

DESIGNER:  I work on clients' advertisements as well as my own greeting card line.

DREAMER:  I imagine reaching my goals as well as helping others to reach theirs.

So hang in there with me!  I am learning more and more about myself, this world, and this life.  That is why I decided on the new hashtag #projectingmyvoicethroughart - as I sense that it sums up my output of talent.

Feel free to send me your thoughts, prod me to update my journal, or use the new hashtag to describe your own artistic endeavors on Twitter!  Wishing you all a little peace and creativity in your lives! :)

11.19.2013 -  When I was a girl, I dreamt that I could fly.  I had these flying dreams all of the time.  I would coast the clouds and soar above the trees, watching the ground below me blur into a palette of colors.  My imagination extended without effort and without boundaries.  I had an open, child's mind and thought that I would always have the gift of inventing stories and characters.  I took the creative ease of my adolescent brain for granted... and then, I grew up.

When I sit down now to write, I realize that I'm recycling something I had heard before instead of something I had invented.  And then I'd think, just how many versions of "Romeo and Juliet" had I heard?  The idea of two beings with opposite backgrounds was embedded in dramas, comedies, horror and tween romances.  It went to show that Romeo and Juliet was still a worthwhile subject matter that could be re-described in multiple genres.

And just how many tales about aliens or body snatchers had I heard?  Or stories about ghosts?  Or time travel, and of far away lands from long, long ago?  Yes, I have - yep, yep, yep, and yep.  And yet, these stories could be recycled and told in new, refreshing ways - and so a bit of my apprehension to create something brand new subsides.  Instead, I search my own personal experiences to pick out points of interest to melt with ideas I'm already familiar with.

One of my all-time fav-films is "The Neverending Story".  That film embellishes the way that I feel about the world now; that a "vast nothing" is coming, and the more that we rely on what is familiar, the more that is at risk to be taken away.

Today, we rely heavily on the swift technology of software and computer generated images.  I am not dismissing the beauty of this technology, but I cannot belittle the step-by-step process of making something believable.  I miss the classic art of robotics and puppeteering.  I grew up watching Jim Henson films and still find the creative engineering in the mechanical movements of fictitious characters amazing.  Take Falcor, The Luck Dragon, from "The Neverending Story" for instance... the way that his nose and ears twitch, and how his teeth, lips, and tongue move as he speaks.  It took great timing in puppeteering design and skills.  I feel like there is more physical, human challenge to conquer in filming than that of computer, generated imagery.

But I guess the point that I'm trying to make is that I still enjoy telling a good story, even when it might be rooted within a well-known tree.  And the tone in all of the examples that I've given is that hope always exists; the hope for survival, love, or for something better than what have been given.  I guess that pretty much sums up the way that I think.  Even when I feel like everything has been taken away from me - I still have hope.  I have no intention of letting "The Nothing" wipe out my world.  I plan to live, experience, create, and share with you as much as I can for as long as it is possible.

I look forward to the new experiences that will inspire new ideas and thought processes, but I also do not want to ignore the classic processes that brought me to where I am today.

And to those of you that savor a curiosity, yes, I continue to hand-write my story ideas with a simple pen & paper, rather than with a computer.  Data can be erased with a simple glitch, whereas I enjoy holding something tangible.  Work with the process that works best for you my friends. ;)  

09.14.2013 - This was one of those mornings when the sun began nudging me through the open slots of my blinds and I looked around at the white walls of my new place and thought, "Today is the day I'm going to change my life."

Ever have one of those mornings?

There is so much I want to organize in order not to miss out on anything.  I might put up a story board on these white walls of mine - but the story projection will be for me.

*sigh*  I guess I should get started ;)

09.10.2013 - It is one of the hottest days of the year... and it's supposed to drop almost 30-degrees in just 2 days.  Crazy.  It is also a terrible day for allergies - so I'm spending the day in.  I have busied myself with researching blogs and listening to what's hot in the news (besides the weather).  Let's just say, I am happy that Miley has established herself as a woman instead of a child of Disney, but I hope that she moves past her highly *exposed* phase of her career.  Madonna has survived... Brittney has survived... and I believe that at some point, Miley will survive as well.

05.01.2013 - If any of you are regulars to my site, then you have noticed that it has been going through some changes.  I have been meeting a lot of fellow creatives lately and their kin-ships have been very motivational, as I am hoping to reflect in my work.  One issue that I have run into lately is with the programming of this site.  A couple years ago, I had my site on an outside server.  I used Dreamweaver for all of my programming and loved that I full-reign on decisions.  But my server guy was moving on, so we redirected my site to the one Google provides with the purchase of your domain.

Ever since then, I have encountered many frustrating issues.  The site does not look exactly how I would like it, but as I've said before - the price is right.  But now, I'm having issues with photos that I upload, or script that I type - that show up in the "editing" screen, but then hide when I save the new draft :-/ ...it is defeating to say the least.

04.13.2013 -I attended a farewell performance for a friend/coworker at The Beat Kitchen in Chicago.  It was his big out-of-state moving send-off. And I want to thank you for the invite Junior!  It was a great show!  Hopefully they'll let you play guest appearances when you come back to town for a visit :)  And as a side-note since none of the guys are wearing their own logo - the band's name is A PHOTO FINISH.

03.06.2013 - I try to be funny.  Not in a comedian type of way, but I try to be funny.  Whether it is with snappy one-liners or just by acting spontaneously silly; I enjoy the lightness of humor.  And since I enjoy the sensation that laughter causes, I try to make others laugh as often as I can.

Life gets too serious sometimes.  Just ask me.  But then I tell myself to let go of it all, and try to lighten the heaviness with a joke.  I feel that it helps to erase the imprint that stress tends to leave behind.

There are times when I can tell from someone's body language that they are having a bad day.  I then feel compelled to help them - by breaking into a 5 second silly dance or facial expressions to try and put a smile on their face.  As our brains tend to loop current events back for review throughout the day, I know that those people will think of their encounter with me, and hopefully it will bring yet another smile to their face.

It seems like most Americans work nowadays.  The idea of the stay-at-home parent is not as common as two-working-parents, or the single parents who work two jobs.  We use terms now like "multi-tasking", that infuses the idea that we are always supposed to be working on something - keeping busy.  We have a hard time finding the time to slow down.

But how much time does it take to laugh?  And how good do we feel after experiencing a good laugh? 

02.16.2013 - I woke up too blooming early this morning.  You know how you look forward to the the weekend all week long, so you don't have to set your alarm clock?  Me too!  But here it is Saturday and I was wide awake at 4am.  No alarm going off.  No need to hit the "snooze" button.  So what did I do?  I enjoyed it :-)

The time felt like a bonus to me.  I made myself a cup of coffee and listened to the quiet darkness.  Then as the sun began to rise, so did the noise level outside.  I could here the doors of my neighbors coming and going, and the increase of traffic on the streets below.

I did as I said I would - and uploaded a variety of travel photos to their proper pages on my website.  I love the visual associations with photographs.  They brought memories of my travels back to the surface.  They also reminded me of all the "tourist" stops that I would still like to make.  Especially in Europe, as the friend that I ventured there with was more interested in eating and drinking than sightseeing.  Though I have to admit, I never realized how good food could actually taste until my trips overseas.

I became a bit of a foodie after the French and Italian cuisine I was introduced to.  Now, I try to buy more organic foods at the store, as I've realized how much of the flavor has become muddied with over-processing and growth hormones.  I also realized how much less I eat when my palette is satisfied.

And with that, my tummy has reminded me that I should go make breakfast.  Enjoy YOUR Saturday morning!

02.09.2013 - I have been distracted with a long-term revision of one of my writing projects.  I plan to get back to uploading my photos to the site as soon as possible.  I see a lot of possibilities with 2013... and am glad that all of you will be along the journey with me :)  Wishing you an enjoyable weekend!  Do something that you never thought you'd do!

01.26.2013 - Greetings everyone!  I do hope that all of you are having a dandy weekend.  I plan to work on my photo issue with the site again tomorrow.  It is mildly frustrating to find out that the plan I had for the user-ability has been ka-boshed by the short options I was given by using a google site.  I have discovered that they do not like outside flash being used - which forbids me to incorporate the slide shows that I had hoped to use.  And when I attempted their slideshow option, it takes the viewer from my site to a google photo site (where my images are being kept).  So yes, I am having a few learning curves with my options, but I must say, the annual price for the site is right.

And my allergies have run amuck lately.  I know, I know, that's no excuse to vacation from the world wide web, but I'm doing my best to deal with it.  My voice went on a mission of silence as of last week - which is a very strange thing to deal with when you've taken the gift of speech for granted.  No more making phone calls... as text, snail mail, and email are your only sources of communication.

01.23.2013 - You know, I finally get the idea of needing "down-time" after a day of work.  I can remember a gent I dated back in the mid-nineties, who explained to me how he needed an hour of "down-time" when he got home from work.  At that time, I was so young and full of energy that I just couldn't understand why he didn't want to share my ball of enthusiasm after a long, draining day.  I would greet him with niceties when he came home, and ask him to tell me about his day.  He would then emphasize how thankful he was to see me, but he would be even more thankful if I could just give him an hour of quiet time... then he would love to exchange stories of the day's adventures. 

I listened, and did as I was told.  But at that time, I felt as if he was giving me the brush off.  But now... many years later... i get it.  I have come to realize a pattern in my own "after work" behavior.  I function better if I have an hour to decompress.  Amazing what wonders time can do for the mind and the body, as well as for an old memory :)

01.12.2013 - Everyone knows how much I enjoy a good story.  And I have spent the past month viewing, listening, and aware of the world around me - to learn new stories.  As I mentioned before, I felt as if I was searching for something.  And I found that it was something both internal as well as environmental.  I know that this is nothing new and will fail to come as a shock to anyone - but the world has changed! 

I cannot explain what I mean exactly - only that I understand that the world as we know it will never go back to the days of "Leave it to Beaver" or "Happy Days".  We are as we are, until we evolve to whatever is next.  Life is constantly transitioning.

I caught a gem of a film, "Flipped" (2010), with Madeline Carroll, Callan McAuliffe, Aidan Quinn, Anthony Edwards, John Mahoney, and Rebecca De Mornay.  In a few words, it helped me identify what I had been searching for.  In the film, a young girl decided to step back and evaluate the people around her, and the "sum" of their parts.  She was able to decode the value in people.

I wanted to hug her - this character in this sweet film of youth and innocence.  I miss those days of looking at the world with over-expectations. 

I value life as a gift.  I am thankful for everyone around me, regardless of how many different categories my relationships fit into.  I no longer beat myself up about trying to remember everyone's birthday - especially when it has been years since they'd remembered mine.  People give what they can, and it should not become a competition to see who can outdo whom.  Just accept what is given.

Today, I was blessed with a delivery from my long-time friend, Melissa.  It was a care package filled with trinkets from "home".  Photos, candles, cookies, and an update of how she and her boys were doing.  It brought a smile to my face and created a bright place in my day.  I valued my friendship with her, which began in 1987.  The only thing better would have been if she could have shipped the boys and herself in the box as well!  LOL  So I thank you Melissa, for being in my life.

12.31.2012 - The days just aren't long enough.  That tends to happen at this time of year with the holidays.  I am doing my best to catch up with friends, the greeting card line, and the progress of publications... ugh! LOL.  So here's to the juggling act of socializing and work - all at the same time :-D  Happy New Year everyone!!!!

12.12.2012 - I really wanted to do something inspirational today - as today's date is one that I will never see again.  But after eight-and-a-half hours at the shop, an after work excursion to Trader Joe's to stock up on much needed groceries, preparing dinner, washing dishes, as well as throwing in a load of laundry - I'm spent! LOL!

The funny thing is, I have spent much of my recent social time searching for something - but I have no idea what it is.  I just know that when I find it, it will mean enlightenment.

I have looked through old files and photos.  I have looked through emails and texts.  I have looked through my cupboards and drawers.  I have paid attention to the words in conversations.  I have thought about my goals and what I am working towards.  And yet, I do not know the answer.

I have held movie marathons - viewing classics from the 1980's and 90's - including: Thelma & Louise, Bladerunner, Bodyguard, Dirty Dancing, The Outsiders, The Breakfast Club, Point Break, Gleaming The Cube, Youngblood, and several others... and the common thread that I found in all of them was a sense of self.  They all incorporated characters that were either discovering who they were, or they were reaffirming their personality traits that they refused to compromise on.

I also finished listening to Patrick Swayze & Lisa Niemi's book, "The Time of My Life," on CD.  I enjoyed hearing Patrick's voice narrating his biography. And again, he was someone who was not without flaws, but never lost his spirit of self.  Beautiful story.  Terrible to lose him.

So when I find what I'm looking for, I will share it with all of you.

I have a feeling that it has something to do with a sense of accomplishment.

Enjoy your day / evening / night - and good luck on your own journeys!

10.21.2012 - Somedays I am the tortoise being left behind in the race.  I log in as many possible hours that I can on my weekends, and still feel that I cannot keep up with my fellow artists' accomplishments.  I am very hard on myself, as we are always our own worst critics.  At such times, the little voice inside my head says, "Don't forget about all that you have done, and never expected to!"  And I have to agree with it :)

I began my "Bucket List" when I was fourteen years old.  Even at that age, I was aware of how short life is, and wanted to make sure that I savored the experience of living as much as I could.  I wrote things down that I never expected to do - just as a way to not put restrictions on myself.  And then I found that I was actually putting check-marks next to them!

The more that I marked off of my list, the more I would add to it.  I don't think that I could accept the finality of seeing a completed agenda.

I have traveled to more places than I ever thought I would have, such as Venice and Paris; and have so many more that I wish to see.

Growing up in the Detroit area, there was not much opportunity to get into the talent industry.  But the open doors that I was able to find, satisfied my craving to be in front of a camera.

As a child, I appeared in several local Detroit television shows, events and advertisements.

At age 19, I shot a hair commercial for a cosmetology school and a half-hour infomercial for the photography chain I worked for (I was the guest make-up artist).

By my twenties, I chose to learn more about the 'behind the scenes' production. I majored in Telecommunications when I first started at the University, before opting to concentrate on photography.

In my thirties, I twice worked as a production assistant for MTV during their Detroit auditions for a musical reality series.

I have also been lucky enough to race around the Belle Isle Race Track in a Corvette, as part of a pre-race event!  Talk about trying to hold a camera steady enough to shoot a photo when you're going around a turn at lightening speed!  *Sigh*  It was a good day.

So now that I have reminded myself of things that I have done, I'm going to get back to my current projects.

Wishing you all the best Sunday that you have experienced thus far! :)

10.13.2012 - I woke up very early this morning, and now am waiting for the sun to follow.  I am not exactly sure that I will see it today.  The sky looks to be a grey cloud barrier, that the strongest of birds fails to penetrate.  The weather station is calling for a day of storms.  Maybe the sky will provide me with some entertainment...

I could write a tale about sky pirates scourging the torrent skies... OR not.  I think that's already been done.

I could write an epic poem about the magnificent force of nature... NO, wait.  That's been done countless times.

I suppose I shall have to be patient, and see what inspiration the day brings me.

Happy writing! 

10.07.2012 - I am being schooled today in the ways of "Pinterest", by pals Lisa, Matt, and David.  The site is a whole new concept to me.  It makes me think that Albert Einstein should have created it, in the respect that the things he felt unnecessary to hold onto in his brain - he didn't.  Such as his address or simple information that he had written down.  That is what Pinterest.com seems like to me - a brain that contains millions of branches of memories.

As a world, we can visually share any of our interests on the site, and not have to retain them within our noggins anymore. What a clever idea.

But as I said, I am still learning about it.  If anyone has any helpful tips, feel free to email me :)

02.28.2012 - Sometimes things occur, that shake our conscious back to knowing what simple vessels we are.  When we loose someone who is so full of life and so young, the reality of it feels unjustified.  Routinely, we spend time thinking that the decisions we make throughout our days are our choices; that we are in control.

But we cannot control everything.

No matter how much we choose to refuse that.

What we do is learn-adapt-appreciate the gifts (no matter how small) that we are given.

01.29.2012 - Woot!! Woot!! (squared) ...the online art magazine Escape Into Life published one of my short stories as well. Thank you again EIL!  http://www.escapeintolife.com/blog/music-be-the-food-of-imprints/

01.26.2012 - Woot!! Woot!!  Someone else besides myself published my work! :D

Check me out on the following link! http://www.escapeintolife.com/artist-watch/lisa-beth/

Thank you ESCAPE INTO LIFE !!  ...now if this isn't a major motivational factor to spend the evening posting photos to my site for additional viewing! xoxo!!

01.22.2012 - The plan for today: to get at least 4 photos (each) back onto my travel pages.  I wiped them away the other day, due to all the inconsistency in the signature fonts, as well as the trouble that they were experiencing while trying to load in the slide shows.  So I'm taking them back to the basics, and arranging them in tables for you to scroll through.  I needed some music with motivational drumming... listening to Steve McDonald's "Sons of Somerled" - it's still one of my all time fav CD's.

Happy Sunday to all!

01.20.2012 - The site is going through major amounts of re-construction - hang in there with me! :)

01.02.2012 - Amazing how a "New Year" can be both inspiring and motivational.  I have spent the past weekend cleaning, organizing, motivationally speaking, etc... and it all leads me to one conclusion - that 2012 will be the best year I've ever experienced.  I am making that promise to myself.

There has been so much emotional luggage that has followed me over the decades.  And as I get older, I find how much easier it is to discard the baggage that holds me back.  Sure - there are people in my life who do not approve of me being creative, free-willed, and accepting of the wide varieties of differences that we share as human beings.  But isn't that the point?  Shouldn't we learn how to "share" our differences?  Think of how blight-boring our environment would be if we were all cookie-cutter personalities?

This winter, I have found myself watching and listening to media from the 80's &90's.  *Currently listening to a Patty Smyth CD - fav song "Out There"* I think that it is my subconscious way of "getting back to the basics"... of bringing me back to the things that were inspirational to me to begin with.  So I have been watching a lot of John Hughes films, re-reading Stephen King novels, and listening to a plethora of music genres.

I reminisce about going to see the film PUMP UP THE VOLUME when it was out (on a double date).  I remember the film as having a midnight premier, and the two guys who attended with my pal Mary and I fell asleep during the film.  So we two girls watched as Christian Slater's character broke laws and school rules to speak freely.  It was ground-breaking at that time to think that you could have a say - albeit a radio station was more realistic in the late 80's/early 90's - but to have a place where you could state whatever you were thinking; whatever you had an opinion on, it struck us as a beautiful idea.  I already had a crush on Christian Slater due to his GLEAMING THE CUBE film, and his character in PUTV made me fall that much harder.  I wanted to have a voice.  I wanted a way to be heard.  And at that time of watching the film at Southland Center's Mall, in Taylor MI, I had no idea that years later - that dream would come true.

The internet boomed.  We no longer needed open radio air to have our voices heard... because we had the World Wide Web.  And now, everyone seems to have a FaceBook (except me), a Twitter (my fav), a Google+, MySpace, LiveJournal, or our very own website.  It happened.  The world screamed that the "common" people of the world needed a venue to have their say - and it happened.

Maybe that is why I have been stuck in watching/listening to memories from the 80's/90's... because that is where the huge changes in socialization happened.  There lies the transition of what my goals were in high school, to where they lie twenty years later. (Yep, I know I'm telling my age)  In high school, I never thought that I would need a computer in my career field - hence why I'd never taken typing classes.  And now I cannot imagine being without my laptops!  LOL!  Funny how time changes us?

So if you have never seen PUMP UP THE VOLUME, rent it.  It may lack some of the sophistication that we have now grown accustom in our Hollywood blockbusters nowadays, but sometimes it's good to "get back to the basics".  Remember the days when we did not have cell phones and were all conveniently connected.  Remember how fierce it was to be a rebel. Remember how it was before everyone had a voice.

Wishing everyone a little nostalgia as they plunge into their plans for the New Year :)

12.17.2011 - Woke up early to write.  *Currently listening to Tori Amos - Strange Little Girls*

I have a writer's meeting later today, and am trying to compose enough thoughts from an on-going story, to bring to the discussion.  At the moment, my guidelines are still scattered.  I have never claimed to have a traditional discipline to writing.  I should, but instead I tend to write in sections that are out of order; that become puzzle pieces.  I then find myself asking the characters how to transition everything together, to compose a complete story.

But it seems as of lately, my mind has been overwhelmed with worries and stresses from my real life, to prevent me from composing ideas for my writing life.  I spent all of last weekend crying over something that I had felt I had lost.  Which is silly really, because you would think I would know this far along in life, that anything in our lives can be taken away or broken.  It's part of being human.  And it is those losses and gains, that help create the many layers of our personalities.  Experiences and scars make us who we are.  And how we choose to utilize life's little interjections, is totally up to us.

I am always learning; about myself as well as the many people who come in and go out of my life.  Sometimes I view my own life as one, very, long, novel.  But it helps me to write.  If I existed to only know happiness, to only know what it felt like to gain - not ever having anything taken away - then how could I ever understand the value of something?  I wouldn't.

Last weekend is now a memory.  Today I'm focused on utilizing my valuable talents; and have pages and pages of story ideas waiting for me to organize them into their proper layers. So with that, I will bid you a good day :)  

12.03.2011 - There are quite a few of my co-workers who are hockey players, and I continuously threaten that I'm going to show up to their games and take photos.  So tonight, I decided it was long overdue.  I dusted off my camera and drove out to Palatine, IL., which I had never been to.  The boys played in-line - not ice hockey - but the energy of the teams was the same.  It proved to be fast-paced, and the referee got in the line of my camera site more times than I could count... but it was fun.  I was able to snap off a few decent shots, and have promised to make random appearances in the future.  I just wanted to say thanks to the team for letting me crash their party!  Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you... they won! Yay team! :)

11.20.2011 - Yet another weekend has come and gone - how quickly it happens. I have been consumed by so many new photo projects that it has been difficult to balance everything on my "To Do" list. And now I'm trying to find clever ways of incorporating my creative-ness into making unique gifts for the holidays ...and I must admit that I have found myself listening to a Yuletide song here & there on the radio - shame on me!! I am one of those individuals who complain about all of the holiday music and lights, when they appear before Turkey Day. But now I fear that I have slowly began submitting to the commercialism of the pre-holiday festivities! Although I'm not ready to curl up and watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, or Charlie Brown trying to teach his fellow mates about the meaning of the season... but I have not minded hearing a little Bing Crosby or Mannheim Steamrollers. And as much as I will start to feel the peer-pressure, I am making a promise to myself that I am not hanging a single strand of lights until Dec 1st! Ho-Ho-NOT!!

Wishing all of you a pleasant evening :)

 11.05.2011 - Yay!! My buddy David was able to fix my site mapping issue! THANK U DAVID!! ...and now, to redesign and upload information for your - and my - entertainment! :)

It's Harvest Season again, which means its time to celebrate what the year has given us, as we put away the summer clothes in replacement for warm, comfy, knitts. We make lists of things that we are thankful for, lists of gifts we are hoping for, and lists of plans for the start of the new calendar.  But while we are busy making lists, do we ever really change our lives? Or do we abstain from our intentions, only to recycle ourselves for another year? Maybe I should make a list and find out?

11.02.2011 - Welcome friends!  My site is undergoing some major construction (as you can tell).  I lost access to my previous design when I renewed my domain.  So bear with me (grrr) as I struggle to get everything set up :)